My ex used to often come home and tell me that he thought about buying me flowers, as if the mere thought should score him points. That intention isn't worth anything unless there is follow through. It's not like the thought is half the action. No, the action doesn't count until it is complete.
There's a famous Biblical story about two women both claiming they are the mother of the same child. They bring it to the judge of the land to decide. When King Solomon suggests they just split the baby in half with a sword the true mother reveals herself by telling the judge to give the baby to the other woman. Half a baby is not a baby.
A halfway developed fetus is also not a baby; that is why Jewish law places a woman's life above the life a a fetus who is threatening the mother. Though the soul hovers near the fetus while it is in the womb, the soul enters with the first inhale, transforming the potential human life into a full and complete living and breathing baby.
Dangers threaten completion of pregnancies; reaching full term is nothing other than the fulfillment of a miracle. We don't have Jewish baby showers or announce names before birth (often even delaying until the Brit ceremony) because celebration is only fitting after the baby arrives. To expectant parents we say "b'sha'ah tova", may the baby come at a good time. To new parents we say mazal tov! The counting of gestation days is over, now we rejoice.
“Half measures availed us nothing.” In Alcoholics Anonymous, these words precede the 12 Steps and are read in nearly every meeting world wide. Chapter 5 begins “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.” If you don't go into it all the way (“thoroughly”), you won't succeed. “Those who don't recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves.” Recovery requires going to any lengths, “We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.” There is a thin line between life and death, choosing life means turning over one's life and doing a searching and fearless inventory of every resentment and fear. It just can't be done with one foot in.
This week I told a friend with regrets about the four steps of teshuvah – recognizing the mistake, feeling remorse, resolving not to repeat the sin, and facing the same situation with a different response. These four steps partner with the need to ask for forgiveness, from the people we have harmed, from ourselves who we have hurt and from God who we have injured. Jewish wisdom here matches the recovery process, with steps that must be repeated again and again, all the way through the cycle, all throughout the day and year (not just on Yom Kippur). The alcoholic and addict who decides to skip Steps 7-12 is doomed. Half-measures. Step 11 demonstrates why 12 Step recovery and this particular omer counting community is a spiritual one:
11. Sought through prayer and personal meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Halfway through, today is day 25 out of 49 days of the omer. So what? Don't treat yourself to the half birthday cupcake. There's no silver star for finishing the first half, it doesn't count until we finish counting the whole. This is a personal practice, a daily opportunity to follow through on our dedication to a spiritual practice that activates a religious transformation. Go for the gold.
Lots can happen instantaneously! In prayer, a momentary moment of deep intention has the power to change the flow of divine blessings. True remorse felt through and through is more significant than days of self-pity tears or misguided acts of charity intended to balance the scales. In an instant the heart can turn in teshuvah (repentance) and hold the spiritual impact to turn a life around. The moment forgiveness pierces one's heart and soul a psychic-spiritual bond releases for good, forever. Personal practice over time is a primer that leads to the aha moments and spiritual revelations.
Today is just another day, another step towards standing in the light, receiving the love, illuminating the truth. One day at a time, this is how we lift our eyes towards standing at Sinai to greet God. Maybe we have no idea where this all is going, still we keep counting. Let's go all the way, each and every day.
Today is day 25 of the Omer, that is 3 weeks and 4 days of the Omer. This Shabbat posting was pre-scheduled.
Practice suggestions:
1.A time for checking in is quite valuable. What have your omer patterns been thus far? What feelings surround your practice? What does omer counting mean to you now? What learning gifts has it given you so far? How has your life changed in the past 3 weeks 4 days? What intentions do you hold for the remaining time? Have you identified a theme for yourself in where you are journeying from and to? What is moving in your soul? If nothing seems present, do you detect or yearn for an undercurrent of transformation?
2.Work on the 11th Step (its ok if you haven't worked 1 through 10 yet).
[11. Sought through prayer and personal meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
3.Resources
article: Beginning the 11th Step Practice of Quiet Time
meeting:12 Step Torah monthly in Chicago
experience:Netivot/Pathways Jewish contemplation, meditation, yoga, spiritual direction, with Rabbi Heather Altman in Chicago
Yoga of Recovery week in Big Sur, Yoga of Recovery weekly @ CITYOGA in Indianapolis, IN
Showing posts with label choice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choice. Show all posts
Friday, April 23, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
21 - Celebrate Freedom!!!
With irony in honor of the Day of Independence I imprisoned my free-bird toddlers with 4 protective bed time precautions – backwards diapers, duct tape covering the backwards diaper tabs, backwards onesies and backwards pajamas. Yes, they are asserting their independence by stripping and streaking with bravado and Houdini-like talent. My cousin nicknamed her daughter Pootini during this stage and -oh merde! It really stinks. Less than two years old, each of the three is claiming her body, asserting herself and freely expressing her voice. At the moment, after being in bed for thirty minutes they are chatting in full voice, calling out in their own language. Freedom is fun!
With nightfall begins Israeli Independence Day, a time to celebrate big time. Miracles are possible, hope is alive, dreams aren't always dreamy, to keep them going you need to dig your hands into the dirt. I much prefer to highlight the freedom element of independence, and it fits in this omer period moving into the promised land. A tiny yet robust democracy in the midst of the mostly monarchical mid-East, Israel is a huge symbol of lived possibility and a powerhouse provider of innovation and dignity to the entire world. Forget about the day to day politics and personalities; focus on the mission and vision of the State of Israel.
Lehavdil, a distinction, between a global historical leader and an American tradition, Yom Ha'Atzmaut occurs when the Omer turns 21. Twenty-one is a year to go all out, let go, party without care. Teenagers count the days till that birthday and the symbolic freedom it brings. It marks a the beginning of adult life, exploration and formation of responsibility, career, individual identity. Israel too is but a young-in in the scope of statehood.
Age 21 is when one might start to ask “what am I going to do with my life?” in terms of profession, possibly relationships too. Age 2 is about “how quickly can I take my clothes off and shriek in delight?” Uh oh, well maybe, lehavdil, in a totally different context there's some of that at 21 too. And at age 62, the State of Israel's age, we still ask “what am I going to do with my life – from this point forward?” And at the same time “how can I celebrate my soul-gifts every day with joy?”
Independence provides so many choices that everything is possible, yet its always important to have a container. Wandering through the wilderness our ancestors were miserable, whining, complaining and rebelling. Say what?!? They hurriedly escaped slavery and weren't prepared for a paradigm shift. Years of traveling as a tribe allowed them to develop leadership, build faith and commit to rituals. One of the greatest spiritual teaching tools, Shabbat is about separating a day of rest from the work week with beginning rituals (candle lighting, kiddush, special music and prayers, a special meal) and a closing ritual (havdalah with kiddish, spices and braided candle, more songs). Just one example of Jewish practice that uses boundaries to create sacredness.
Entering a career window as an independent rabbi was a choice to concentrate on bringing my unique vision and talents in creating sanctuary for your soul as a consultancy. I have enjoyed the gift of freedom, choosing my projects, accepting appropriate collaborations, working with self-selected clients. And I maintained certain container connections – my email list, home base town, synagogue, colleagues, source for referrals. Providing my own boundaries, I am able to re-visit my vision, re-define the boundaries, and re-enter a new container when desired.
Pausing to see if our inner aspirations match our outer appearance and environment is a blessing of freedom. Examining the containers of our life with care, curiosity and compassion is crucial to feeling comfortable in our skin and speaking with a clear voice. Openness and the ability to change courses is a blessing of independence too, one that takes awareness and attention. When the omer counting began at the Passover Seder we asked a lot of questions. May the questioning continue as we count our way to revelation.
Today is the 21st day of the Omer, which is 3 weeks of the Omer.
Practice: Hit the pause button. (this teaching given to me by master certified coach Marian Baker). Pause for 10 minutes from your work to do something that feeds your soul. Each week, schedule a one hour pause for yourself too. For today, on this day of the Omer, consider the containers of your life and how well they represent your soul within. During each “pause button” moment, celebrate your independent and free soul!
With nightfall begins Israeli Independence Day, a time to celebrate big time. Miracles are possible, hope is alive, dreams aren't always dreamy, to keep them going you need to dig your hands into the dirt. I much prefer to highlight the freedom element of independence, and it fits in this omer period moving into the promised land. A tiny yet robust democracy in the midst of the mostly monarchical mid-East, Israel is a huge symbol of lived possibility and a powerhouse provider of innovation and dignity to the entire world. Forget about the day to day politics and personalities; focus on the mission and vision of the State of Israel.
Lehavdil, a distinction, between a global historical leader and an American tradition, Yom Ha'Atzmaut occurs when the Omer turns 21. Twenty-one is a year to go all out, let go, party without care. Teenagers count the days till that birthday and the symbolic freedom it brings. It marks a the beginning of adult life, exploration and formation of responsibility, career, individual identity. Israel too is but a young-in in the scope of statehood.
Age 21 is when one might start to ask “what am I going to do with my life?” in terms of profession, possibly relationships too. Age 2 is about “how quickly can I take my clothes off and shriek in delight?” Uh oh, well maybe, lehavdil, in a totally different context there's some of that at 21 too. And at age 62, the State of Israel's age, we still ask “what am I going to do with my life – from this point forward?” And at the same time “how can I celebrate my soul-gifts every day with joy?”
Independence provides so many choices that everything is possible, yet its always important to have a container. Wandering through the wilderness our ancestors were miserable, whining, complaining and rebelling. Say what?!? They hurriedly escaped slavery and weren't prepared for a paradigm shift. Years of traveling as a tribe allowed them to develop leadership, build faith and commit to rituals. One of the greatest spiritual teaching tools, Shabbat is about separating a day of rest from the work week with beginning rituals (candle lighting, kiddush, special music and prayers, a special meal) and a closing ritual (havdalah with kiddish, spices and braided candle, more songs). Just one example of Jewish practice that uses boundaries to create sacredness.
Entering a career window as an independent rabbi was a choice to concentrate on bringing my unique vision and talents in creating sanctuary for your soul as a consultancy. I have enjoyed the gift of freedom, choosing my projects, accepting appropriate collaborations, working with self-selected clients. And I maintained certain container connections – my email list, home base town, synagogue, colleagues, source for referrals. Providing my own boundaries, I am able to re-visit my vision, re-define the boundaries, and re-enter a new container when desired.
Pausing to see if our inner aspirations match our outer appearance and environment is a blessing of freedom. Examining the containers of our life with care, curiosity and compassion is crucial to feeling comfortable in our skin and speaking with a clear voice. Openness and the ability to change courses is a blessing of independence too, one that takes awareness and attention. When the omer counting began at the Passover Seder we asked a lot of questions. May the questioning continue as we count our way to revelation.
Today is the 21st day of the Omer, which is 3 weeks of the Omer.
Practice: Hit the pause button. (this teaching given to me by master certified coach Marian Baker). Pause for 10 minutes from your work to do something that feeds your soul. Each week, schedule a one hour pause for yourself too. For today, on this day of the Omer, consider the containers of your life and how well they represent your soul within. During each “pause button” moment, celebrate your independent and free soul!
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