Day 1 - March 30

Its 10 pm and we're all on the floor in the girls' room. Usually the girls' room means the room where my three 21 month olds sleep, but now it also includes our 8 year old, who has graciously loaned her room to my Dad. It brings tears to my eyes to think about how effortlessly she made that decision and how dearly she loves him. Equally tear jerking is how she has taken to sharing a room with her little sisters. She has been talking about how when they're bigger she wants to have 2 sets of bunk beds and all sleep together, then turn the other bedroom into a big playroom. I support her vision with wonder about how it might change when she is 12 and they are 6.

Back to the floor, where we do our bedtime routine called “climb on Abba time”. It began when I was away teaching for five days and Jeff would let them crawl all over him every night. From the first time that Haley joined in, “climb on Abba time” became a sacred ritual. Any hint that it may not happen on a given night brings on crying.

It is really special, even more so when we're all together. Sitting on the floor with babies and big kid crawling over us, laying on us, sitting in our laps. Reading books, singing prayers, saying good night.

Laila tov is usually between 7-7:30 pm but it was the second Seder for Passover so everyone was up late – for the second night in a row

Tonight Haley started a very deep conversation about court, law, religious and civil rights. So remarkable the way she shifts from little girl behavior to big deep thoughts. She asked a question and followed the response with more questions and conversation. Jeff, Haley and I had a very grown up three way dialogue that turned out to be the perfect Passover discussion. I wonder how the question found its way into “climb on Abba time”. Did something in the Seder evoke a conversation about freedom? We didn't focus on freedom much this year, more on slavery and the Exodus story, so it doesn't seem an obvious connection. And, she didn't start with a direct question about freedom or rights it just flowed there.

It doesn't really matter how it came about. The beauty was the ease of conversation, the openness for our daughter to ask a deep question, to feel safe in expressing herself, the palpable closeness of our family. It became a teaching moment about our most esteemed values: doing the right thing, doing whatever is necessary to protect and help all people, family, friends and fellow.

When she enquired about details, Haley learned about how Jeff challenged her public school policy about absences for religious holidays. He explained that he effectively changed the policy statewide to conform with our laws of religious freedom. Her dad specifically pointed out that he went beyond working it out for her, but for the sake of all children who have the right to religious freedom. She clarified the concepts of freedom, rights and inclusion/exclusion. She asked more about people of different backgrounds going to school together, working together and working together for civil rights. Jeff talked about Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel and other Jews who walked with Martin Luther King Jr in the Peace March and connected it to the “why?” not just “who”.

After a lengthy conversation Haley, a bit teary but in that dramatic way, told us how she really misses her black friend who moved away, that he was her friend and he could do the splits ALL the way down. And how she had 5 friends move in two years and how she misses them. I skipped the opportunity to talk about freedom of movement! A momentous and seasonally appropriate conversation had just been completed and I know she understood every bit of it.

Tonight is the first night of the Omer.

Start counting by considering what really counts. Who and what do you count on? Who counts on you? On this night, what is your primary life value? your soul's essential truth? Try writing about these questions, or discuss them, meditate upon them etc...