30 - Naming Names

What stressed them out was a soulful exercise for me. How I named three children all at once was a subject of fascination to many people. Without knowing the genders of each of the trio, those who struggled to decide on one girl name and one boy name couldn't fathom how we could figure out how to settle on names for the possible gender combinations: 2 boys, 1 girl; 1 girl, 2 boys; 3 boys; 3 girls; first names, middle names. People were so curious about my techniques.

I am an expert in naming babies. As a rabbi I have the honor of helping others select names for their children. Even before I ever became a parent I named many children. And since I've given birth to three children I have named many more. Sometimes I am consulted in advance; usually I enter the process in preparation for a baby naming ceremony. Rarely do the parents come to me with a Hebrew name for their child. They turn to me for methods and suggestions.

People go online and find names that are supposedly Hebrew with no actual linguistic connection to Hebrew. People find names in books that would make Israeli's laugh. There are Biblical names, modern Hebrew names, and Yiddish names. There are traditions, some more influential than others, and guidelines that vary from community to community.

Most ubiquitous is the Ashkenazic custom of naming a child in memory of a loved one lost. It's always helpful when the parents know the relative's Hebrew name. Most times, they have to do some research. With Yiddish dialects, nicknames, distant memories and no documents to confirm, finding out an actual Hebrew name can be challenging. Knowing the names is also quite crucial for the ketubah, wedding contract, for an aliyah to the Torah, for a Jewish divorce document (Get), for a grave stone.

Any and all of these written sources can be used to find Hebrew names to keep in the family. Still, it is rare that a baby receive the same exact Hebrew name as her deceased relative. We may use the Hebrew basis of a Yiddish name, the feminine of a man's name, or the masculine of a woman's name. A popular technique is using the same first letter, so Yisroel becomes Yaniv, Rachel becomes Ronit, Elizabeth becomes Elisheva. Another method I like is finding another name with the same meaning as the relative's name; this is especially helpful when the Hebrew name is totally untraceable and we use the English name to translate into a Hebrew form.

Selecting a name is a significant task, one that will be with our children forever and ever, and be in our family l'dor vador, from one generation to another. Announcing the name and bestowing it upon the child is a powerful ritual. Both are huge honors for me, explaining why I became an expert in this ritual area?

The Lion King captured it perfectly when daddy whispered baby cub's name to him, then Lion King Mufasa held up baby Simba, the future Lion King for all the kingdom to see. That is the personal and public significance of the Brit/Covenant ceremony, both for boys in Brit Milah and for girls in Brit Bat. Simba was welcomed into the Circle of Life, and Jewish babies are welcomed into the the Covenant of Israel, that holds sacred the Tree of Life, Torah teaching.

Brit ceremonies are one of my favorites; I'm excited for my second one of the season this Sunday! (Since naming ceremonies for girls aren't commanded to be on the eighth day like a Brit Milah for a boy, parents often delay the Brit Bat until a convenient time. And voila, I usually have summer Sundays booked fun with Brit Bat ceremonies!)

I have a knack for naming. As always, I aim to help people be true to themselves. Its a matter of style. We name our children the same way we present ourselves with clothing, hair, makeup and accessories. All an expression of our true selves, we strive to match each new soul with the name that best represents her shechinah self. With all the careful consideration in selecting a child's name, the ritual must match the intention in intensity. In this sacred naming of a baby, child, or even an adult Jew-By-Choice, we welcome a new soul into our family, community, covenant and world with blessing, great pride and joy. The ceremoniousness of the ceremony is fitting to the precious purpose.

Today is day 30 of the Omer, which is 4 weeks and 2 days of the Omer.

For consideration: what are your names? English, Hebrew. First, middle, last, daughter/son of.... What name do you call yourself? What name does God call you? Who and what have you named? How did you select those names and do they fit the soul of the being? If you were to name your self right now, how would you decide?

apologies: I missed a few nights! I am sorry that I couldn't keep up my writing commitment this week. I hope to fill in the missing days, so look out for out-of-order numbers.