3

One of my girls was crying really hard tonight for no apparent reason. I tried to hold her and comfort her but it had no effect. I put her down and left her to cry. I lifted my oldest triplet, the most easygoing child, onto the changing table, undressed her, changed her diaper, put her pajamas on, sang the Shema to her, told her that I love her and put her into bed with her blankie. I lifted my middle triplet, ready to cuddle up in bed, onto the changing table, undressed her, changed her diaper, put her pajamas on, sang the Shema to her, told her that I love her and put her into bed with her blankie. Then I returned to my crying red-faced youngest triplet, lifted her onto the changing table, undressed her, changed her diaper, put her pajamas on, all while she was fighting me. I knew she was tired but hoped to help her calm down a bit before putting her in the crib so I took her outside. It was quiet as the sky was changing to orangish grey. All the kids who played outside late on this beautiful first of April were inside eating dinner or getting ready for bed. Her eyes softened and her face relaxed. Laila tov sky. Goodnight sky. Laila tov choo choo wagon. Laila tov everyone. We enjoyed the stillness and the warm breeze. Even though it wasn't yet dark, she was clear that this day was ending. A most beautiful day filled of sun and warmth, lots of playtime and fun. As I walked her back to her room, I sang the Shema and told her that I love her and put her into bed with her blankie.

A series of actions repeated again and again, my life is all threes. Ever since we saw those three little circles on the sonogram we have been counting to three. Three is now my favorite number. Later when it is really dark I will peak into their room, look at the three cribs and try to make out the forms of my sleeping babies inside of them.

A toddler friend started calling my girls “the chicklets”. I try to avoid labeling them as a collective “the triplets” but chicklets was a nickname given with love and it is pretty cute. Occasionally I will use the term too and when I'm making sure they are all safe and snug in bed, or all buckled into their car seats, or all in the choo choo wagon I am counting my chicklets.

Someone once said “don't count your chickens before they hatch” but accounting for all my chicklets is my number one job. Everything feels so fresh and bright on a day like this. No coats needed, short sleeved and sandals everyone is out walking, biking , singing and dancing. The beautiful weather somehow inspires celebration and cues us to enjoy the present tense. Less fantasizing about what is not and may never be and more enjoyment and appreciation for what is. That is taking a-count.

Starting back one day when we were dating, my husband started telling me often that every day he thanks God that I am in his life. And I too, appreciate every day, the blessing of having him in mine. Together each night before we go to bed, we check in on our children and find the greatest peace in seeing our blessings sleeping there.

I downloaded some pictures from our camera today and found one that I had never seen before. I hadn't seen it because it was taken of me and our youngest triplet when we were both sleeping. At first I didn't recognize myself as the peaceful girl laying there at peace. That visual helps me know that I have peace and calm within me, even when I don't feel it particularly strongly.

Tonight as I ponder the religious practice of counting the days, I am inspired to take account. It is night three, and the magic number of babies that grew within me, souls that restructured my world, girls that I lay to bed each night. One, my song my praise my music. Two, my faith, my belief. Three, what delight! It is the third night of the Omer.


Time to take account of your life. On night/day three of the Omer, consider what patterns of behavior you repeat again and again out of love, duty, and kindness. What does the number three mean to you? How are you establishing a pattern in your counting of days and taking account of your life?