10- Sefirotic/Erotic

Ten is the ultimate sefirotic number. Thought I'd throw in “sefirotic” as a nod to last night's discussion about sex, sensuality and what could be extrapolated into the erotic of God. As I formulated my words last night, read them with satisfaction, re-read them considering a broad audience and lasting internet availability, I decided to do a follow up piece on self-disclosure. Considering publishing the explanation essay first, I then decided to let the sex talk stand on its own before qualifying it perhaps unnecessarily.

Pleased, for sure, I am, that number nine elicited my first comment! A positive comment from a rabbinic colleague. Another colleague privately sounded a caution about what future potential employers might discover online.

I'm not so naïve, rather I have made a conscious choice about being real and how much of myself to reveal. This is my personal evolution. Upon my acceptance to rabbinical school my mother asked me what kind of clothes I would have to start wearing. I balked at her suggestion that I would change my standards in any way yet the second guessing seeped in, along with seeds for the teenage rebellion I had errantly skipped. Portraying a persona that is more buttoned up or covered up betrays honesty. Not to mention that my taste is pretty classy to start.

Always the obedient student I heeded warnings to “remember that congregants are not your friends”, “keep your personal life personal” and the like. Problem is, without taking the risks of developing personal relationships in the congregational community it also inhibits deepening the connections and growth. Hiding my true personality prohibits people from knowing me and ultimately from me knowing them. Allowing those congregational friendships to develop naturally, and at times even to foster them, is what can make me be the best rabbi I can be.

One of my dearest friends was somewhat a mentor in embracing my own sensuality. Sharing her experiences with fond recollections and sideways looks of mystique was a gift to me, and a lesson about oneg, delight. When she married she agreed with her husband that she would no longer share details of their sex life with her friends. Still a sensual and sexual creature, the boundary they created keeps their intimate life sacred.

My aim is to hold to their standards of separating the sacred. Being sensual, being sexual – those are expected attributes of every individual. Sharing those traits is honest and frankly healthy. We must discern between clean and clear appropriate sensuality and unhealthy inappropriate visual and verbal assaults. The slogan “your only as sick as your secrets” comes to mind when I think of the news reports about the Catholic church and sexual abuse. Starting out with a sacred perspective on sexuality and open conversations influenced by authentic Jewish teaching can prevent secrets and sublimation and sickness from taking hold.

That sexuality is divine is a foundation of the sefirotic world. In the kabbalah of the Zohar, God's personality is overlay-ed onto the image of a body, and the attributes of God's personality reside in various places of the body. There are ten sefirot, major energetic centers each with their own essence – such as wisdom and harmony. Within this system are pairs that balance each other, polarities that magnetically draw together, a complex godly intercourse. The divine realm is mirrored in the earthly realm below; union above brings a bountiful flow of blessings down into our world. All of this, when human intentions, prayers and practices align properly.

Today is the tenth night of the omer, that is one week and three days of the omer.



For your practice: today try some meditation. Sitting, standing or laying still. Pay attention to your body, each part, each side, where there is balance, where there is assymetry. Notice your breath, inhale and exhale, depth and pace of each. If you are a novice, sit for 3 or 5 minutes, if you are experienced go for 10 to 30 minutes. Listen for your truth, for how you match your outsides to your insides, to how and when you are your most authentic self, true to your soul.